is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
