Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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