i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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