Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
