god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
