that's an acceptable place to lick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
