what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
