I bet he comes in French.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
