I heard we made out
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
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the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize