Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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