just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
