That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
