i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize