I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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