Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
