perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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