i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
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I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate