yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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