Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"