He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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