you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
