my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i believe in u and ur pee
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
