Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
