I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
