i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize