I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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