I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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