if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
someone owes me an orgasm
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
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Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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