he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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