Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
