Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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