It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
