nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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