she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
