i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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