I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found puke in my bra..
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
