just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
