I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
