You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
