Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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