She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
