So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
