I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she smelled like a LAN party
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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