I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
