dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
