I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Panties = found
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
