Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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