Kiss
Puke
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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