When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
