I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
