my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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