tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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