hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i dont even know how to be here
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
