You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
