So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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