there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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