You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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