just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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