i think my tv is drunk
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
