NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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