My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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