porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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