I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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