the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize