yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
