What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize