you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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