Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
